I wish you people would quit prying into my private life but if you must know how became so obsessed with rapid weight loss I will tell.
You know how it all started for me? The HCG protocol. Did it work? Absolutely it did. It is strict, insanely strict and MUST it be medically supervised as far as I am concerned. It does. 1-2 pounds a day if you are precise with execution. From 290 to 245 on this protocol I went, but I zig-zagged up and down. If you are not precise it can be disastrous, the opposite affect can occur. But for those who nothing else seems to work, maybe you should give it a shot. If nothing else you will learn about portions, high quality proteins, and what the body is capable of under disciplined conditions.
|Now that ladies and gentleman is a fit pastor, humbly speaking of course|
Now what HCG helps with during the extremely low calorie diet phase (P1) is the hunger and cravings. The first phase is fairly easy (for me at least). However the difficulty for me was transitioning from (P1) to phase 2 (P2).
I normally stray from controversy or at least keep it to dietary cholesterol, kale, and egg yolks, but today I want to mention a hypothesis that I can never test. A pregnant woman could survive off of body fat alone because of the miraculous power of HCG in her system. She would receive all of the necessary nutrients for her body fat as directed by the hypothalamus using the HCG hormone. Research for yourself. That is just a hypothesis.
(P2) of the protocol is the No Sugar, No Starch phase seems to give many people trouble. I had already been experimenting with a group who were diabetic and using a modified protocol to achieve their weight loss goals in the Pacific Northwest. Since I was deep in throws of ADHD as usual, I could not stick the protocol and I felt compelled to experiment with modifications myself. How bout a little more food, and adding exercise (which is not recommended on the protocol). Self experimentation has taught me so much over the years and I was driven to learn more so I tinkered, and landed with a high protein, high fat, low non-fiber carbohydrate (NFC) protocol. We named it “The Program”.
Experiment I did. I discovered maybe you don’t have to do the protocol at all. How bout if you do the no sugar no starch (P2) and don’t ingest any HCG at all? Just start with no sugar no starch (P2). Instead seek to your fill of your carbohydrate deficiency you experience on many high protein diets, with fiber rich carbs (complex be careful here non-white refined carbs). Add a 1000 calories of fat and NFC. Get that load from beans and lentils, avocados and nuts? What a hypothesis. Many of you are just starting to realize that I am not only judiciously humble, but formidably intelligent as well!
Well their you have it – the Leanergetix motivation. That coupled with the 93 other diets and workout programs I had tried that just didn’t quite work (I had by then abandoned the Coors Light Diet). I just self experimented, did a phenomenal amount of research, and I found that “The Program” works.
|I discovered the life changing La Croix at this time|
What about your obsession with the little fiber rich, nutrient riddled ground dwellers? Let me tell you how this came to pass! I was searching on the information superhighway for recipes for lentils and beans and I found a little information on why beans and lentils had fallen from popularity in the mainstream. One of the many reasons was that they were considered peasant food in many cultures. That stigma, coupled with the methane that can be created in the low abdomen from eating non-soaked or non-rinsed legumes was the death sentence for this lovely little creatures. They faded from popularity.
Ok, we could brush it under the rug, but it just might linger there. I know from experience if you prepare legumes improperly, or eat a lot of sugar alcohol, you will diminish the population you have of family and friends. While experimenting I received plenty of calls from the boys at Berkley, asking questions about the seismic activity in my drawers. It doesn’t have to be this way. Simply rinse your beans thoroughly or soak them overnight if you are using dried. Also, eat “THE BAR”, only one per day, and stay away from anything with sugar alcohol in it. There you have been warned. Back to the captivating story.
Additionally I found several recipes for a dish called casseolettes. They are simply dried beans, a meat, and vegetables placed in a roasting pan in the morning, and taken out at upon returning home from work. A complete nutritious kick ass tasting meal. Take that Jenny. Well that is how it started.
As a result of this quest I also had to find a meal replacement with high protein, high fiber, high vitamins, high healthy fat, and low NFCs (WFC). I went looking for a bar I could eat as a supplement that had the same characteristics as the casseolettes. And this was wonderfully eye opening exercise. I searched high and low. Near and far. Low Fat, High Fiber, No Sugar, All Natural, Pure Protein, recommended by Dr. Oz., blah blah blah. Its all shit! SUGAR, SUGAR ALCOHOL, SUCRALOSE, CANE, you name it they all have sugar. 443 bars later I had almost given up.
It wouldn’t be one of my posts without a couple of significant digressions, so here it goes again.
I went with my pops into a GNC today in Santa Clarita, CA (actually several because the first ones didn’t carry “THE BAR”). Well, I met two gorgeous and knowledgeable young ladies (yes they were crazy about us, can you blame them? They are only human), Dera and Gaby. They were so bright so positive, they even wished us a happy 2013 – extra-specially awesome customer experience!!!!!
Anyway Dera had tried “THE BAR” and we shared enthusiastic notes. Well those of you that know my dad know know he needs to be on “Leanergetix, “The Program””. Granted he has lost 20 lbs over the last few months, sometimes it is just a matter of someone like me teaching him what to eat and when. So I asked him to give me a week and that would be enough to get the momentum going. Trips back to GNC down the street to see Dera and Gaby notwithstanding.
In previous attempts to show dad the joys of Leanergetix I had led him astray. I recommended a bar that was awesome tasting but full of sugar and non-fiber carbs. (NFC) Bad me, bad.
Back to the epicurean BAR experience at the GNC. So Dera and I agreed that we favored chocolate the best, although Vanilla Almond and Cinnamon Roll are certainly badass. (Ouch 6 grams of sugar alcohol in Cinnamon roll) I also tried the sugar alcohol infested Banana Nut Bar, and I must say definitely in the badass category, but not an acceptable nutritional profile for the Program. We then talked of the bliss and joy experienced when placing “The Bar” in the microwave for 10 seconds. STOP ME STOP ME – Dera, try a little almond butter on it when it comes out – are you fuckin joking me?
I had found “THE BAR” – Finally I could snack on a delicious treat that met the rigorous demands of “The Program”. I am absolutely giddy about these bars. You can bet those marketeers at Quest will want to place a photo of yours truly on their boxes one day just like La Croix does! I think it goes without saying.
If you haven’t heard of Quest Bars KNOW ABOUT IT! just check the label for the proper ones.
If you would like me to be the poster child on one of your products please call me at 208-615-lean.
In closing, Jennifer Aniston if you are reading this, I will be your personal trainer and chef for no charge! THE PROGRAM WORKS.